I am 34 year old, mother of two fiercely independent young boys, wife of a wonderfully supportive man and finding it increasingly hard to live in a world that makes less and less sense. We moved to Cape Cod to invest in a house that would allow us to “get out of debt” and achieve the “American dream” of having our own home. We were desperately trying to build a solid foundation for our future, so we bought into the idea of “you need to spend money to make money”. My advice regarding this is ALWAYS FOLLOW YOUR INSTINCT! You are responsible for your own decisions and YOU must live with them! When you’re young it’s easy to look to others for guidance instead of standing up for what you know is right.
That was 3 years ago and there have been many bumps and bruises along the way. Of course that’s to be expected, but I was not prepared for the endless battles over simple things. In preparation of the eventual sale of the house we had mapped out a remodeling plan, even going so far as to sign a contract between all parties involved. And even though things did not go according to contract, I am still thankful we started out that way. We have had an extremely hard time with the remodeling of this house mostly because of constant disagreements between us and my in-laws, who are also heavily invested in this house. Oh, did I fail to mention we went into this investment with FAMILY! I know better than to mix family, business and money! First we argued about the maintenance of the lawn, than the installation of a whole house fan as opposed to individual ceiling fans in each room and the list goes on and on. Each time something needed to be done, it was an 8 course meal (not literally!) of talking about who, what, when, where, how oh and of course how much. We never agreed with them and they never agreed with us, so it was always 2 against 2 without a tie breaker. With much disappointment, Chris and I finally decided to stop believing that they actually wanted to hear our opinion even though that was what was being said. Oh, and did I mention that Chris is a professional full-service carpenter and has been doing high-end remodels for almost 15 years now. Obviously, he’s still not qualified to pick out a countertop or be trusted with any sort of decision of the sort. If Chris got little recognition, I got even less. After two years of working on the landscaping without any support financially, mentally or physically, “professional” landscapers were brought in by guess who to focus on curb appeal. Oddly enough when I said that the irrigation system was not adequate the first summer, no one listened, but when the “professional” said it 6 months before the property was to be put on the market, well I’m sure you can guess where I’m going with this.
As we prepare to sell our investment, we struggle with so much more than moving boxes. When I look at the past 3 years, it’s not hard for me to look at the events from a multitude of perspectives. And even though I still think we got the short end of the stick, I also think that we were given an opportunity that I’m glad we didn’t turn down. I love were we live, and am thankful for so much. That being said, I am ready for a new direction. One that we make. One that is not based on the decisions and outcomes of our parents and their generation. It is strikingly clear to me that what worked for them, has not and will not work for us. This debt driven society must end. I want more time and less stuff. I want to find a way to be happy without all the things we are told we must own to be happy. So now we are just trying to get out of this house and accept it as a big, fat learning experience. So I guess this blog is going to be about what I have learned and where I hope it will take me. Deep Breath and I’m on my way….